Seasons in the sun Terry Jacks
(This song was popular at the time of my brother's disappearance and because the song mentions "It's hard to die", it does not mean at all that I believe he is dead- on the contrary- I believe he is very much alive. As a little girl I listened to this song only because it reminded me of him and I couldn't make sense of it all- and I still can't make sense of it as an adult)
I was sound asleep when I heard some voices in the house. I heard mom, dad and you talking. I didn't get up but I did peek out the blinds of the window to see you and dad drive off. You yawned really big and I saw your big, beautiful eyes, watering with your yawning. I also saw a fishing rod in the car. I saw you drive off in dad's black and white car, not knowing that I would never see you again. An eleven year old little girl, staring at her hero, her best friend, her idol, her everything, whose heart was about to...these tears are making it difficult to read what I am writing at this moment, but it's the reality that I have had to live with all these years and that image of you and dad driving away will never leave my mind.
Junior, I hope you don't mind that I posted these pictures of you on the internet for the whole world, literally, the whole world, to see. I know you don't look like this anymore but maybe, just maybe, someone who knows you right now can see some semblance of you right now in these pictures and know that you do have a family that is waiting for you to come home. It's never too late for whatever reason this has happened, for whatever reason at all, we are still here for you and it would be nice if...you did finally make it home.
